If I meant to say all those things in the past, why aren't I keeping my word?
I've given in too much. And how can I say that I've forgotten the past? Forgiveness.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
No role
I can't explain what kind of position I'm in with my family.
I can't explain what kind of horrible doings my dad is doing.
Is it a good thing to let this just happen?
Is this really for the children's sake?
Am I doing what he says for a good cause?
Am I listening to the right commands?
How now am I supposed to keep up?
How now am I supposed to compromise with what my dad is doing?
Can we just move out already?
Can we just move on already?
If these acts keep going on
my privilege of what I usually do
will comprise of nothing.
I want something new, something I need.
I want to get away from this, something I don't need.
I can't explain what kind of horrible doings my dad is doing.
Is it a good thing to let this just happen?
Is this really for the children's sake?
Am I doing what he says for a good cause?
Am I listening to the right commands?
How now am I supposed to keep up?
How now am I supposed to compromise with what my dad is doing?
Can we just move out already?
Can we just move on already?
If these acts keep going on
my privilege of what I usually do
will comprise of nothing.
I want something new, something I need.
I want to get away from this, something I don't need.
No title
The separation between mutiny and purity
If life would be equal, there would be no problems
But the insane thought of causing one, is self-assurance
Motivation and encouragement is the key to influential decisions,
including yearning for what we don't have.
Thinking that we are able to survive in this wild world,
we are actually thinking of the good life here.
What kind of life is so good if we all face struggles?
What kind of life is so perfect if we aren't living in a "heavenly palace"?
You're either one or the other
no other option to take.
Growing up to see other people change in their lives,
you, me, he, she
we're all in this hell hole
Something we can't bear to stand alone.
We are given an opportunity to live,
to see what the world does to others?
No to take up a stand and make a better place for all of us
There's a calling from some unknown presence
it's warning you
I can see them trippin over stupid nonsense
if living the good life is to drug yourself into worldly things
then there'll be no "heavenly palace" for their feet to set upon
The separation between mutiny and purity
If life would be equal, there would be no problems
But the insane thought of causing one, is self-assurance
Motivation and encouragement is the key to influential decisions,
including yearning for what we don't have.
Thinking that we are able to survive in this wild world,
we are actually thinking of the good life here.
What kind of life is so good if we all face struggles?
What kind of life is so perfect if we aren't living in a "heavenly palace"?
You're either one or the other
no other option to take.
Growing up to see other people change in their lives,
you, me, he, she
we're all in this hell hole
Something we can't bear to stand alone.
We are given an opportunity to live,
to see what the world does to others?
No to take up a stand and make a better place for all of us
There's a calling from some unknown presence
it's warning you
I can see them trippin over stupid nonsense
if living the good life is to drug yourself into worldly things
then there'll be no "heavenly palace" for their feet to set upon
The separation between mutiny and purity
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Hide and Seek
Favorite songs- the ones on my myspace haha. Let's leave it at that
What a boring Thursday. All I did was sleep sleep sleep in my classes. Of course a few teachers tried to abruptly interrupt my peace, but hey it's not cool to sleep huh? In spanish class I kept in mind, "Yo necessito mas duerme porque.. yo no se!" Haha. Talk about spanish. Now that I've mentioned this class, Sean still can't see the final decision I've made with him. For some reason he still sees me the same way. The same way? The same way when things used to be pretty cool between us when we used to like each other. Silly boy, he still gets at me and gives me those awkward stares. Every time he does that to me, I give him a nasty glare as if saying, "Back off, I mean it." I'm struggling to find my way out on him, but it's hard to let go. On with the show,
Fantasics meeting was alright. Sign up is still going on! Idea that I came up with: Students who are attending for a character position must bring at least 5 people outside of the comittee to come watch Fantastics, dancers- at least. Uhm other than that, I need to figure out how to make the villain's costumes. Kasama? I don't know what's going on for BOTT. Whatever.
Peekaboo. After walking home from school, I was getting kinda hot and sweaty for some reason. Yea, exactly, what? When it was such a windy day? I didn't bother to put on my sweater because it was hot. After running from p.e. I cooled down of course, but I was burning up. While I was walking home, I noticed that my vision was a little blurry every time I blinked. When I reached to the back of my house, my head started to seriously spin. Major headache and cramps. I took out my key and unlocked the door. As soon as I stepped in, I dropped my stuff and fell to the floor. I probably laid there for an hour and a half I have no idea. But when I stood up, I can see that my cats ran out in front of me and scared the living crap out of me. Unsteadily, I just laid on the floor again. The wind came by, and my door still wide open. How can I just suddenly fall to the ground. I ignored the whole thing for a while. So I dressed up into my home clothes, and quickly fronted my fridge. Surprisingly, I couldn't find anything to eat but icecream. So I ate icecream. Beautiful, rich, creamy ube icecream. I walked over to my computer and edited some old photos on photoshop. I found out that my stomach was twitching. Like something hiding inside me is telling me, "Let me out" I stopped eating my icecream and went to the bathroom, but before I could even turn the knob, my knees just bailed on me. Again, I'm on the damn cold floor wishing that my stomach would stop hurting me. Ughhhh. How painful it was.
I AM NOT PREGNANT. lol
So whatever, I went to bed woke up at 6ish, went to costco bought pills drove back ate some pizza and finish reading. BORING WAY TO END IT, but hey, I didn't know what to do. Today near the end of the night, my time started again
What a boring Thursday. All I did was sleep sleep sleep in my classes. Of course a few teachers tried to abruptly interrupt my peace, but hey it's not cool to sleep huh? In spanish class I kept in mind, "Yo necessito mas duerme porque.. yo no se!" Haha. Talk about spanish. Now that I've mentioned this class, Sean still can't see the final decision I've made with him. For some reason he still sees me the same way. The same way? The same way when things used to be pretty cool between us when we used to like each other. Silly boy, he still gets at me and gives me those awkward stares. Every time he does that to me, I give him a nasty glare as if saying, "Back off, I mean it." I'm struggling to find my way out on him, but it's hard to let go. On with the show,
Fantasics meeting was alright. Sign up is still going on! Idea that I came up with: Students who are attending for a character position must bring at least 5 people outside of the comittee to come watch Fantastics, dancers- at least. Uhm other than that, I need to figure out how to make the villain's costumes. Kasama? I don't know what's going on for BOTT. Whatever.
Peekaboo. After walking home from school, I was getting kinda hot and sweaty for some reason. Yea, exactly, what? When it was such a windy day? I didn't bother to put on my sweater because it was hot. After running from p.e. I cooled down of course, but I was burning up. While I was walking home, I noticed that my vision was a little blurry every time I blinked. When I reached to the back of my house, my head started to seriously spin. Major headache and cramps. I took out my key and unlocked the door. As soon as I stepped in, I dropped my stuff and fell to the floor. I probably laid there for an hour and a half I have no idea. But when I stood up, I can see that my cats ran out in front of me and scared the living crap out of me. Unsteadily, I just laid on the floor again. The wind came by, and my door still wide open. How can I just suddenly fall to the ground. I ignored the whole thing for a while. So I dressed up into my home clothes, and quickly fronted my fridge. Surprisingly, I couldn't find anything to eat but icecream. So I ate icecream. Beautiful, rich, creamy ube icecream. I walked over to my computer and edited some old photos on photoshop. I found out that my stomach was twitching. Like something hiding inside me is telling me, "Let me out" I stopped eating my icecream and went to the bathroom, but before I could even turn the knob, my knees just bailed on me. Again, I'm on the damn cold floor wishing that my stomach would stop hurting me. Ughhhh. How painful it was.
I AM NOT PREGNANT. lol
So whatever, I went to bed woke up at 6ish, went to costco bought pills drove back ate some pizza and finish reading. BORING WAY TO END IT, but hey, I didn't know what to do. Today near the end of the night, my time started again
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