I refuse to follow their ways

My intentions are reassured. Or is it playing tricks on me? (Happy Birthday Jake Aciata!) I don't know what to expect. Should I be worried? What am I worried about? Why am I worried? I'm worrying everyone else. I hate putting people on blast like that, maybe next time, I should shut my mouth. Because maybe if I actually did, I WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEMS, whatsoever. There needs to be a time or day when I can actually make my parent's proud. That'll never happen. They will never be satisfied until I become successful in my later years. I can't stand this right now. I'd rather live in the older years, where society was a drag. Just so that I can run somewhere and fulfill my own dreams and goals. Today, I'm starting fresh. I'm restricting myself from any social activities, or school activities that keeps me away from my compact room. I'm letting go the unnecessary distractions and the things that reel me in to doing something that no one would approve of. This won't be long, school's almost over. I've had most of my fun already, and I'm thankful for the people who I love the most for giving me a chance to have great fun with them. So, no parties, no youth hour, no FYC. Just me, school and church. This is what they want, so I'm going to do it, not for them, but for the will of God.


-- May 16, I went to a youth rally. I haven't been at youth hour nor have I been active in church. The rally lifted me up. Carried my sorrows. The songs I've been longing to listen and sing aloud.
--May 19, I cried. I haven't cried in months. Called Leah, I knew she would understand. I can always call her. Then I called Jam, but it was a mistake to get him involved, now I worried him.
--But, when everyone is asleep, Jesus is always here for me.