Saturday, December 13, 2008

Months

Wow, I actually miss him.
Was this the person I've actually fell for the hardest?
He did say he had feelings for me.

1st time: BOT2007
2nd time: Cataldi park, on his birthday.

But these were just simple feelings anyone can have towards someone. Make them laugh, conversate, keeping each other warm, and all through love, it's a moment to treasure. It's been quite a long time since we've had an actual conversation.
Dude, I loved this guy, he was total chill. I knew I could trust him, and always turn to him whenever I needed help. I cant believe that now, we're just waiting for each other overseas. Life will keep us busy in the meantime. It surely would have been great to be there for him, but it's something I wouldn't be able to take a chance at. Knowing that we both live far from each other, we know we can keep in touch, but there would be way too many sacrifices to make. And I'm saying, time will pass through if we just wait. We moved on after our last conversation. Well, I will move on after I write this blog haha. I believe that, even though it seemed like it was going to work out for us, but all fell when we had no time. We're going to be given another chance, there will be other people out there that's fit for us. I accept this because, hey, I'm still young, and I can't take that bet. I don't want to follow another path after I've gone so long on my own. To live is to die. This was all bs, but not in a bad way. I can see how he might have thought that it wouldn't have worked between us either. But at our last conversation, he did confess, and I was actually happy to hear it. Those words "I love you." But, he didn't say "I love you." Instead he said, "I used to have feelings for you, back when we actually had time for eachother." In a way, I felt like we were still talking as usual. Warm words to comfort me, speechless. But it was his time. It's like becoming a brand new flower for me. I can still be out there having a great time and glooming for everyone(= It's time to let my pollen go, time to let the people go, time to give something than to receive it. He will be out there, in the meantime, I can wait until he picks me up from the ground.

--"..just know if you ever need someone to fall back on, i'll catch you alright? just hang on, take some time off, and get to know yourself better. Don't do the things others want you to do, do the things Jovey wants to do. Cause remember, time's ticking, and who knows who much time we've got right? Well that's what helped me, but i hope it helps you get through these times. haha goodnight."

I want to tell him so badly, I wanted to say the same.
But time passed, and there no way I can tell him anymore.




this totally could have been me .... but it's not

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