Friday, December 26, 2008

There is something

T h a t I w a n t t o s a y.


//Google image search//


I don't disrespect those who never tend on hurting me.
I don't try to look all tough when I enter their home grounds.
I don't look them in the face with "ATTITUDE" written all over mine.
I don't spit on them and take advantage of their weakness.
I don't complain that I can't really shoot any shots just cause I'm a point gaurd
I don't tell them how the game goes.
I don't care if we win or lose
I don't look down on their team, unless I'm helping them up


But, what I do,

I do look down the court for my team
I do give the other team a hand when they fall
I do give them the best courage to play the game fair and right
I do share the smiles and laughs as I do with Mt. Pleasant's team
I do play fair
I do like to say "good game" to the other team, because it shows that, it was a good game
I do like to have the options to throw the ball down to any open players
I do like to think that we are a TEAM
~~~~~
Purple lockers LosAltos 12.26.08 1:08pm

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The start of my Christmas[=

j0veyhere (12:42:11 AM): seaan
quiksilverxyz (12:42:16 AM): yo
j0veyhere (12:42:21 AM): merry christmas[:
quiksilverxyz (12:42:27 AM): you too :]
j0veyhere (12:42:34 AM): why up so late?
quiksilverxyz (12:42:40 AM): i can ask you the same
j0veyhere (12:43:23 AM): well i asked you fist ;]
quiksilverxyz (12:43:33 AM): cuz i cant sleep
quiksilverxyz (12:43:35 AM): :P
quiksilverxyz (12:43:45 AM): all thats on my mind irght now is jovey!
j0veyhere (12:44:01 AM): ahha same with you ;]
quiksilverxyz (12:44:08 AM): ;] oo la la
j0veyhere (12:44:19 AM): oo wee[:
j0veyhere (12:44:26 AM): XD
quiksilverxyz (12:44:37 AM): go sleep
quiksilverxyz (12:44:46 AM): santa wont come if ur still awwake
j0veyhere (12:46:25 AM): well, i dont want him to go all pedobear on me when im sleeping
quiksilverxyz (12:46:32 AM): but if ur awake
quiksilverxyz (12:46:37 AM): he will never deliver me to you !
j0veyhere (12:47:14 AM): how did you know that all i wanted for christmas was you?
quiksilverxyz (12:49:32 AM): uhh it was obvious
j0veyhere (12:51:11 AM): man you're good
j0veyhere (12:51:12 AM): lol
quiksilverxyz (12:52:12 AM): lol
quiksilverxyz (12:52:14 AM): yes yes
quiksilverxyz (12:52:27 AM): then new years eve ! i will run over there to give u the first kiss !
j0veyhere (12:54:56 AM): no, you should run to a store and buy a misletoe for us !
j0veyhere (12:55:06 AM): lol, you're gay.
quiksilverxyz (12:55:15 AM): OO
quiksilverxyz (12:55:23 AM): i should go buy a mistle toe for us
j0veyhere (12:55:35 AM): ;p shutup
j0veyhere (12:56:39 AM): peace to ze world! :]
quiksilverxyz (12:56:45 AM): dont leave me
quiksilverxyz (12:56:47 AM): i love you !


So he stayed up with me for 3 whole hours
Lol, we had a great conversation, but I wish I saved the IM logs, lol =/ But I'll try to explain it in simpler words. So we were just messin around as you see up there. Then we started playing 20q's and I think he went too deep into it. So he kept asking away! Then I asked him if he had a secret that hes keeping from me. And i had one too, he repeated my own questions. So, he made me confess first. I like Sean Le[: Then, later asked me, how long? REALLY? blahblah. And I said yes. Duh, ocourse w.e! Lol. Then he told me he liked me(=! Woot. And this was like at 2am rofl. And I'm still not sure if I should keep up with him, cause there's still Jam in the way. I hope Jam just passes away from me. Gahh. But on with the story, he wanted me to call him XD and webcam but i was in a room with both my bros and I think Nathaniel woke up to my typing rofl. So that's how my allnighter went so far haha. Oh and hey, I tried to control myself over Sean and Christmas XD Because I know it's Jesus' day and yea, I prayed and thanked him for being our savior and show people the meaning of Christmas. Jesus is the reason for the season! So I woke up at 11am and I was like, was our conversation a dream? Cause I was soooo tired. Anywyas, more tomorrow

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I can't stop thinking about

Us. You and me. I can picture us in my best moments. They won't come to life, I know it. I want to be distracted, I want to forget about us. But you're r i g h t t h e r e!

This was the first time I've actually felt like I've lost my mind with you. I guess, there's not enough time. Thought you could have waited.

ARGHH. epic failure -.-

I'm waitin on '09 so I can be more busier than ever. Just gotta save some time for myself at the moment.

Happy Holidays

Monday, December 22, 2008

SosososoGood

So today was totally awesome, I've gotten closer with the youth, well the girls ahah. We've shared our great childhood past. Yea, we were all friends since we were like 8yrs old! Great times. I sort of faded away from them, because they've been going to camp more than I have and like, they've experienced more and they started to be more active in that, and I haven't. So I felt like I've been missing out in a lot. Sometimes we all hang out like just with the youth, but if you put LBFC youth together with other youths, you'd see me so excluded from them, it's just almost SO sad to even see myself just outside their boundary. But hey as long as they're having a great time it's fine. It's their lives you know? And they don't usually meet the other people from camp, just only like once a year, but only in occasion is when we all meet together. From camp, there were so many to be introduced, but that's not how I work, in big groups, in big groups that I don't know of. I like to keep things very, poco ahah (small in spanish) just a small group is fine. But with the youth, it's a pretty big group, and I love them (:! I've gotten closer to them again today.. err yesterday XD it's pretty late today haha.





There was a Christmas program at church, and I think that presents, gifts, food always bring a family closer. The youth were my family, and we've "bonded" haha again! Yay. We've received so much gifts, haha mainly gift cards though. It was a cold rainy day by the way. Ahaha. We all started talking when were all upstairs in the youthroom when we just ate. Some of us sat on the floor sitting on a couch pillow or just siting down on a couch and what not. Ashley likes quail eggs o.o Lol. I've noticed Stephen eats A LOT. 3+ plates of food?! Cuhhrazzy! Ahha, I ate a lot too. Seriously, super fast metabolism! I think it's the whole sports and basketball thing haha. We both play basketball. He's numba 23 MJ?! Ahha, I'm only #20 lol. I dunno. I guess it kinda goes a long with my other numbers! my first number was 2 then 1 then 10 now its 20 ahha. I don't know.. Well yea. Uhm yea XD hold on. Well, after eating the potluck food. Jenna sang a special number. Jamie can play the piano o.o WOW! Our youth has a lot of talent! Oh fasho ;D Ahha. Well, after Jenna sang, it was Jamie and her dad singing/ playing a special number ahha. When her dad sang, it reminded me of Tito Carlos (Nicole&Ashley's dad) Ahha, mostly like a karaoke song haha. Dude freal. Lol, I sang with choir in "The lord bless you and keep you" pg 662 in the Hymnal book. Well, yea I like being a part of it, I can harmonize with Tita Romilee, yeee! I'm a Tenor lol. Pretty average I guess. But it's an honor to be in the choir! I wish I did the other Hymn songs with them, but it was an Adult thing so I guess XD.

Nicole was pretty funny today with the whole Christmas gift announcements. Ashley kept telling her to close her legs since she was kneeling down xp The little kids were soo cuute! We were like, "Aww! Remember when we used to do that when we were all little kids?!" Ahhha I did remember that hahah. Good times! And then we were all like, yea! Remember when we all used to like Stephen?! AHHA I said nahh, it was you twins first then me then Jenna AHHHAHA. But that was all in the past rofl. After that, we were getting ready for caroling ;p We waited at the church till Jovill came back, in the meantime, KuyaB played the piano and Jenna sang, then we all started to sing random songs ahh. I'm planning to buy gifts for the youth, but hey, I still need to save my money rofl. After Jovill came back we went to Tita Lita's house! Yay the house with window walls! Scarrry ahhhaa. But it's still a nice house rofl. Along the way, riding with AtehMill, It was just me and Jenna and Ashley in the car, so we all started to vent to Ateh Mill. I went first, I told them about my friend house she just won't get off my case and all. Then Ashley told us about her friend that smokes weed and is just addicted to it. She really wants to witness to him about God, but she feels like he's not taking it seriously, and she's just clueless on what her friend is deciding to do in his life. Jenna started hers, about her parents just denying the youth, calling her a StuckUp. I mean that's just messed up. Her parents don't know what she does with the youth, they would think that all we do is nonsense just because Nicole and Ashley are in it, and that they think they're a bad influence. I really don't like being compared. SERIOUSLY. Like, my parents would be like, "Oh, why don't you be like her huh? why can't you do these things or those things the way she does it.?" I can't believe her parents said "Why don't you be like lenlen?!" WOAAA, I ain't always quiet you know? At church, hey I can be a bit off topic and all tha like nicole and ashley, it's just I don't show it too much ahha.But hey, I don't people to see me as a role model. Cause hey I can't walk the walk or talk the talk. Anyways, she's just got to keep her faith in herself. And it's for the youth's sake, just try to listen to your parents, it's probably best for you. Cause hey, if she starts to disobey her parents, they'll make more things worse. I'm saying she should continue to be with us, because all of us are like the same age cept her, cuase she's two years apart, and like me the twins nathaniel jamie ivy stephen mark janine jeff are all mainly the same age except 2. MOVIN ONN.. Tita Lita, She HAS GREATT FOOOD! They're so cultural and different and just, like out of the box! Ahha. Seriously! I ate her food! I get full from it too lol. We caroled to her and it was pretty great cause we got a lot of candy at the end of the caroling. We bonded even more woot! Ahha. I've got good advice :D Moving on to another house, we went to nicle and ashley's grandma's house. Ashley was too scared to pray in front of her family. But hey, I know how it feels when you pray in front of you non-christian family you know? I would feel so embarrassed and I wouldn't know what they thought of me. Probably just crazy you know? Well, it was pretty good @ their house, be we had to hurry and move on to Dino's and Bea's house! woot. So we went!

It sorta stopped raining. Kuya dino's friends were there so yea :D Well, we sang to tito jun and tita inday. Kuya dino and bea were on the couch. After we sang, Ateh Bea was impressed by Jenna, cause she didn't know her own cousin sang xp! Then she was laughing when Jovill was all sweaty and hot when he tried hitting those high notes XD! Rofl! Lol. After that, we went to DENNYS! OMG! I haven't been there, since... .SUMMER DUDE! Seriously! It was Jenna's first time being there, that was pretty nice :) It was nice that she had a good time for the first time with us at dennys :D Denny's is like the best place to chill :D Lol, So we waited in line and what not. Then I TOTALLY FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED RAWRRR! But Nicole said something that seemed like and insult to Jeff, but dude I got up and was about to go to the restroom with jamie and ashley, so like as i walked, we were walkign towards jeff, and like nicole and him were arguing, so I placed my left hand on his shoulder and said "*Sigh, Man up" then OH FASHO, I leave to the bathroom with the ladies XD, and as I left I heard everyone "OOOOHHHHH!!" Ahha, so after shhshing in the bathroom xp we come out, we're ready for our room, but everyone's like "Where's Jeff?" So he's like outside and people were like, "He's walking home" XDD! Dude that was totally awesome. Jeez! Awesome. Dude freaals, if you wanna know what kind of perosn he is, come to my church or come to youth hour. Jonathan knows what I'm talking about roflrofl. So like, he comes back in, we're all seated, jeff, away from me and nicole like, from opposite tables ROFL. Seriously, that fool needs to chill and take a joke. Such a sissy ! But hey, I said like a joke, but he needs to open his eyelids. He ain't all that great. Freaal. But dude, when I came out everyone was like, dayyum lenlen. I saw the expression on Ateh Bea's face too :p So, Jamie and I ordered smothered cheese fries, cause we were wayyy to full. And HEY! Just cause we're skinny, we CAN get full alright? just bloated kk?! Haha. So we couldn't even finish it ! XD Jenna and I, our stomach were hurting like hail! Duudes. Ahha, and we were the same thing! Socks and then flats roflrofl. :p It was such a fun day dude, but Jeff, total joykiller! Freal! After staying there till like 1am, Jeff's gotta ride with my brothers and I. Oh man, I sang my heart out on Air1 station. I sit in the front, one door on each side, I sat in the front. After we stopped at his house, I get out of the car, pull up the seat, Jeff walks out of the car, I say bye Jeff. No response. HECKAAA GAYS! I still try to be nice and all. FAG!



--Gnight :D

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Oh happy day


Seasons of Love - Cast of Rent

Ahha, today was a happy day :D!
So was yesterday!

I really think the whole youth dinner thing actually brings us closer. (= I loved it, but I think thanksgiving was a bit better. Some people were missing because of other plans, but hey I was glad to be there. If we didn't go, it wouldn't be that interesting I guess. Well, one thing that was pretty great, was our cultural challenge. ;D Balut contest! Woot! What is Balut? Half cooked duckling egg! Nast? yea, at first. Haha, So who do you think won? Me of course silly! Yes indeed! Everyone thought is was going to be Mark, but he got a late start ahha, I felt sorry. JayR told him to drink the soup when he first cracked it. Unfortunately, there wasn't soup in any of the eggs. So after I noticed that there wasn't soup, began using my finger to dig out the chick and yolk and eat it as if eating soup with chopsticks AHHA. But yes, I got the prize! What was it? $25 creditcard! Woot! I'm gonna save it. I saved most of my money now! I like being patient haha. I'm only gonna use that card for emergency needs. Most people from the dinner got either clothes or starbucks gift cards lol. After the party, Ivy and I had this LONNGGG conversation that lasted till 2am. Haha, some things aren't meant to be said out loud y`know? So chyeaa. ;D

Today?
Well, I was out like the whole day! When I woke up @ 11:20am, I ate my cheerios, and then I ate soup, then off to the mall! My mom and I stayed there till 8:30 -_- jeeeeeez! We went christmas shopping, and we're gonna go again tomorrow @ greatmall! Because, I need to buy shoes !

Christmas is coming up so is Tsunami! wootwoot!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

So today was fairly akward

So many things were going on. Happy birthday Jessica! I've got a present for you! But unfortunately I couldn't choose which one. Well, I'll probably go around after break giving presents to everyone. I need to save money, that's one thing ahhha. I'm so happy because I went Christmas shopping, basically most of the stuff were for myself hahah. Because Daiso is so cheap like that lol. So I'm gonna try them on after break, I don't want to show them off, yet XDD nvm! Don't remember what I said haha. When I went to longsdrugs, I bought tolberone and a Christmas Card. Then I went to vivi to find myself a shirt for the dinner. hmm. I don't know if I want to go though. I'm pretty busy. =/ I have a basketball game Grr. and I'm gonna be all sweaty and nasty Stephen's not gonna be there, cause he has practice! I have a better excuse though ! lol Well, it's aiight. When I went to Vivi, I heard Vanessa's name o.o? LOL, she was finding a present for Janelle XD. So yea, I ran out as fast as I could roflrofl! Then I saw the Irvin kids, haha near Longs. Haha. Later we went to Choice, I saw Amanda from SciClass XDD! Then we went to eastridge and we went to Daiso, I see a EV kid I remember from the get-together PCN and from Akbayan Conference HAHa, she didn't say hi, cause I was kinda in her way . .Ina a way XDD. Then after buying all the stuff, Sammy comes in and says hi ;D. Then a minute later, the GRADUATED SENIORS COME IN! Missh was there ;D and rachel and anthony and that other guy hahahah. After that, I see a girl from Soccer XD haha. So many people out today! I was so happy because I bought a headband and a warmer headband XD SOOO awesomee! Haha, and it only cost me 4buckS!! Sweeet. Haha ;D Soo yea ;D!
The cutest thing I've ever heard was from Amanda about Anthony ;D!! Lolol it was sooo cute, I wish that would happened to me, it's all good, I've gotten over most things so yea! <33 i'm loving life right now so i'm satisfied nuff :D

I ve got this irritating pimple on my chin =/ Its like, I pop one, and then one grows !! Jeeeeez. Well, i need to do my essay right now ! G2g!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

There's a reason

So far, I thought everything was going to go great, until a little young lady decided to ruin it all and just go ballistic; out of her mind! I just need to let this all out right here. I don't deserve her, she needs me, but it seems like I'm not good enough for her. She wants more of me, but I've reached my limit and can't go any further. I can't stand the way she comes up with things to manipulate my head and give her the sympathy and attention she wants. It's hard to fix your feelings. It's hard to hold something. But sometimes, some things aren't meant to be said. Well, I hope she'll understand soon. But in the meantime, it's Christmas! I need to give out my love, my lalala love :]. I want to give Jam a present, but I don't think he'll bother to cherish it. But you know, only the people that matter the most will get presents! Woot So, I need to get a list ready!


:x Don't tell anyone!
People and their presents:

Sean-Jacket
Dustin-Shirt
JessicaR.-Giraffe
Amanda-;D lol I'll think of one soon
Jasmine-Cheesecake
Daisy-Shirt
Ms. Garsh- Stamppad
Nathaniel- Flannel! :D
Jovill- A gift card to Lids

Mark- A sports bag
Leah- Pocky
Linh-Pocky
Paulina- We're gonna go out ;D
Jam- Something.
ChrisLe-Something from Daiso !! HAHA, i did that last year

Eric-?
Lalo-?
Adan-?
Jaz-?

The rest, goody bags.
Or maybe everyone goody bags XD
Cause I had these goody bags for like 3 years, and I havent used them in a long asss time haha. So yea!

Uhm. Still unsure about things =/

Monday, December 15, 2008

!!

I've made my FINAL decision. I know, I kept changing it. But I'll keep it to my words. So, it's just going to be basketball and crosscountry. No track. Unfortunately, the reason why I can't join it, is because no one will be home. Nathaniel is already joining Tennis, and that's one thing he's pretty much dedicated to. Tennis and track are in the same season. So, I'm willing to give track up. In the meantime, during that time, I'm finding a job and training myself to drive haaha. I might get driving hours too. I'm sorry for those who want rides, but I'm not willing to pay for your insurance. I can't I don't have the money. LOL, sorry to say, even if it's just a block down or along the way to my house, nahh. Sorry. Plus, even if I'm like you're best friend, and all sorry, nope. Hate me all you want, but I know that if my parents get mad, they would treat me so much more horribly if I brought you along with me. So nope! I apologize. Also, I'm saving up $$$$ Because there's more to it than just things that I want, you know? I can buy some things here and there, but not everything I want and just go broke. So yeap. Plus I've gone solo most of my days. It's actually making my life better. I don't have to worry about anyone, there's no big responsibilities between people or any favors. So yea, but I do owe Sam a sandwich! Hahah. Well, this is going great, except that someone is concered about what i do. But I'll let that pass, whether she'll like it or not, it's her problem. I know it deals with me, but I really have no say in it. all I CAN say is, Ok.

So, goodnight!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Months

Wow, I actually miss him.
Was this the person I've actually fell for the hardest?
He did say he had feelings for me.

1st time: BOT2007
2nd time: Cataldi park, on his birthday.

But these were just simple feelings anyone can have towards someone. Make them laugh, conversate, keeping each other warm, and all through love, it's a moment to treasure. It's been quite a long time since we've had an actual conversation.
Dude, I loved this guy, he was total chill. I knew I could trust him, and always turn to him whenever I needed help. I cant believe that now, we're just waiting for each other overseas. Life will keep us busy in the meantime. It surely would have been great to be there for him, but it's something I wouldn't be able to take a chance at. Knowing that we both live far from each other, we know we can keep in touch, but there would be way too many sacrifices to make. And I'm saying, time will pass through if we just wait. We moved on after our last conversation. Well, I will move on after I write this blog haha. I believe that, even though it seemed like it was going to work out for us, but all fell when we had no time. We're going to be given another chance, there will be other people out there that's fit for us. I accept this because, hey, I'm still young, and I can't take that bet. I don't want to follow another path after I've gone so long on my own. To live is to die. This was all bs, but not in a bad way. I can see how he might have thought that it wouldn't have worked between us either. But at our last conversation, he did confess, and I was actually happy to hear it. Those words "I love you." But, he didn't say "I love you." Instead he said, "I used to have feelings for you, back when we actually had time for eachother." In a way, I felt like we were still talking as usual. Warm words to comfort me, speechless. But it was his time. It's like becoming a brand new flower for me. I can still be out there having a great time and glooming for everyone(= It's time to let my pollen go, time to let the people go, time to give something than to receive it. He will be out there, in the meantime, I can wait until he picks me up from the ground.

--"..just know if you ever need someone to fall back on, i'll catch you alright? just hang on, take some time off, and get to know yourself better. Don't do the things others want you to do, do the things Jovey wants to do. Cause remember, time's ticking, and who knows who much time we've got right? Well that's what helped me, but i hope it helps you get through these times. haha goodnight."

I want to tell him so badly, I wanted to say the same.
But time passed, and there no way I can tell him anymore.




this totally could have been me .... but it's not

Monday, December 8, 2008

Whataday

Tonight just killed it.
But I don't want to be distracted by it
We've moved on right?
So there shouldn't be anything that's bothering me.
Unfortunately, I don't think we'll be talking anymore.
It was so unnecessary for him to put that up after our conversation.
No one will truly understand.
there's a lot that's going on,
too mcuh to deal with,
i don't need to say anything.