idk

whether I'm doing something wrong for the benefit of others. Whenever I have things to do, there's never time for other people. I want to spend time with my friends, but as much as I love doing individual activities, I can't be with so many people at once. I tell others that I need my space and I need to get away from distractions, but it hurts to know that there are friends who are desperate to talk to me, to see me, to be with me. If there was a way for me to get away from everything. I want to start running again. I want to be free from everything and just RUN. There wouldn't be any distractions but the finish line. I don't want this or that. I just want to get through it all.
NO, I do not like to shut people out of my lives. I WOULD NOT LIKE TO LOSE ANYONE. ANYONE! There should be no doubt of leaving ONE person behind in my life as if they're a nano piece of puzzle connected to my life. Without water, there's no fish. Without you, there's no one I can think of without you.

I hate to say this but. I NEED TO BACK OFF AND JUST CHILL. I'm looking forward to 2010. That's when the REAL new year will begin.

Looking forward to a lot of things these upcoming months

So Friday is a busy day, but I can only choose one thing to do. Basically, on Friday there's a kasama performance for kuya marcus at a hotel at 6pm, but there's youth hour on Friday, and I was going to host the Show and Tell idea. I feel like I'm letting too many things down just for one personal errand. So on Friday, I decided to perform Sakuting with Kasama. A few things that I'm going to focus on are, CAHSEE, Homecoming decorations, and basketball games. It's really hard to do so many things you enjoy doing when they're on the same plan dates. I hope that I can manage most things and get around them. To make up for youth hour on Friday, I'm going to get a head start on the T-shirt design and the poster ideas on the theme "Pressing On" Put your cross up. So, For the Tshirt design, I'm hoping to put an image of Jesus carrying a cross and put in a verse of what it means. Other than the Church stuff, I'm learning I'm yours by the Script with Ivy. Successfully, I'm hoping on it. Also, I need to make up a lot of things for English, I have a C in it. And Precal, my grade is going lower because of the SAT practice quizes. Tomorrow is another day for precal, the quiz. I'm not going to take the chance of using my Free C, because I'm going to have a full hour working on the quiz so, by the time I skim through the quiz and answer the ones that seem a whole lot easier than the others, I'll have time to go back to the harder ones and work on them.

Yes, I don't have to bring a lot of things, so tomorrow is only 3rd, 5th, and 7th. History, math, and PE. The main ones. Way to ruin my Friday! 2nd, 4th and 6th. Ending with Pham. Grr. But it's alright. I just need to get things straight over the weekend. I'm getting sleepy. So, I have a game tomorrow, VS Branham, I'm really full from the Movie night @ MP for the Track team. Hancock, I haven't watched it. I barely watched some, and I feel like an idiot wasting all my money like that ]:

Long time!

Long time no see! Nothing big has happened yet.



Basically my week was great! In this current blog, I'm only going to say this once, "Some things aren't meant to be said" So saying that, I won't type out what I think (as of this moment) All I'm going to say is that, I've got to spend more than enough time with Ivy. When the time's gone, I'll try to maintain our touch. I want to be able to stick with her the way she stuck with me throughout all our years since kindergarten. So I'll try to do my best and return the past favors and make them visible. Everything else, I'm really glad the way life is going. I know I have ups and downs, but they're the reason why I'm strong and weak.

Love life? I'm loving everyone. Most people respect me, and I'm not ashamed of showing my love to everyone. Boys? Some are just way out of my league. Lol. But I don't think I'll take a step forward. I'm a little scared with my trust issues. I think it's tough for me to keep up with a relationship. Seriously. Haha. But it's going pretty well, I just don't know if I'm liking him for the right reasons.


WCO was fun! I missed most of the people there. I really wanted to see Kevin. The only people I saw there, were GUYSSS. Wow. Saw him too. I'm sorry, but I have to confess, Andrew's hottt. Lolol. Well, that's coo, that's all. i'm done!

Oh, and basketball? GEEETTT SOMEEE.





Bet you thought I was gonna type a lot huh?

January 8 Basketball

_______VS. Leland High School This was the day I've literally lost my temper. I let my anger go like crazy. Why has this happened? I wanted to impress them. The crowd. I didn't want to make a mistake a make a fool out of myself. Through that, I wanted to seem like nothing can stop me. Including, I was too prideful. I've lost faith in God, I lost faith in the team. I've taken charge of my own body and I've put myself out there like an idiot. There were some good plays and horrible plays that embarrassed me like crazy. But this wasn't about me, it was for the team. Because when one person is not working, or if one person takes personal charge, it effects the team, it effects the game. At the beginning at most games I would pray for good outcomes. Instead, I've received a lesson to learn and make it the center of my attention. I went out of the 4th period of the basketball game, I made a Technical foul. I was dribbling the ball when a girl in front of me comes up and just takes the ball away from me. I held the ball tight as if a mother would never let go of her baby. Soon we fell to the ground, and I felt a BIG kick in the back! People told me a girl slid and kicked me and also trying to get the ball away from me. So, After the whistle was blown, both the players let go of the ball, and my hand slips out causing me to throw it at the coach because I was pissed off that they still wouldn't let go after the whistle was blown. So I was called for a Technical. Most people loved it, thought it was awesome, but I was just totally embarrassed. I was also embarrassed for the fact that I couldn't bring the team back up with points, after scoring 6 points in a row catching up to the other team; we were down by 3 points. As a result, the score was 40 something to 20 something. So I was a little disappointed in myself. But alls wells that ends well. I've learned my lesson to calm down and take control of the ball and myself. So I won't be playing much in the next game, but hopefully I can stay calm.